“Fear is just a lie. So open up your eyes.” All of my life I’ve struggled with fear ever since I can remember. When I was around six years old I almost had to have a surgery that could have killed me, and I was terrified that I was gonna die. But I ended up not to have the surgery and here I am now 22 years old. Then when I was a teenager I was home alone with my two little brothers, when someone broke into the house, and I was terrified then too. And there are many other things, that I’ve gone through that made me be afraid.
That being said, even though all of those things happened God got me through all of them. But that doesn’t mean that I am still not a fearful person today because I definitely am. I still struggle with fear everyday. For instance, every time I have to go somewhere, or do something that’s out of my ordinary every day schedule, I have anxiety attacks. I always start thinking of the worst things that could possibly happen, and I freak myself out. Granted, most of the things I think about that scare me never happen, I still do it and it still freaks me out.
Recently I’ve been trying to fix this by immersing myself in the bible, especially in verses that talk about fear (did you know that God tells us 365 times in the bible “do not fear”?that’s one time for everyday of the year!) and anxiety, plus I have been doing lots of thinking and searching, trying to figure out why it is that I get so scared and afraid. I saw a video the other day on YouTube with Mike Donehey from tenth avenue north talking about one of their songs called strong enough to save that has this line of lyrics “fear is just a lie.” He talked about how that if fear doesn’t come from God, (cause God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear) then it has to come from satan, and since all that comes from satan is lies (because he’s the father of lies) then fear is just a lie that we’ve believed.
So in order to get over those fears, we have to figure out what lie it is that we’ve believed, and expose it to God’s truth. And that’s a lot harder than it sounds. Trust me. But I am not gonna give up. Because I am tired of being afraid and not living my life because of it. So I am gonna keep searching, and being honest with myself and with God, while trying to unravel this web of lies that I have believed deep in the dark places of my heart, and expose them to the light of God’s truth so I can be free to live a life free from all fears and anxieties I have.
Let’s just be honest here. We all have them right? Those secret things we’ve done that we have never told anyone about. No family members, not even our best friends, because we are afraid that if anyone ever found out, they would never love us or look at us the same again. I definitely have some of those and I’m sure you do too. For instance I have a secret twitter page that no one knows about. None of my friends or family know about it, because I used to use it to post things and talk about things that I knew were wrong. Even though I don’t use it anymore, I still haven’t told them. I also have a problem with lusting that I’ve only told a few people about. I know what you’re thinking… “but you’re a girl. Girls don’t have problems with lusting only guys do.” That statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. There are many girls/women who struggle with this. For years I thought that something was wrong with me because of that, and the fact that I wanted to stop but just didn’t know how to, so no matter how hard I tried I always ended up doing it again, which just made me feel like a failure and to be honest I still struggle with this a lot. So why am I sharing this with you, you ask? Because recently I’ve been learning that talking about these things actually helps you, even though it might be difficult. And like the bible says confessing things to one another actually helps us heal. Which is why I started this blog, so that we can be honest with each other and maybe find healing together. You see we are all messed up and hurt people who need healing and who need each other. Healing only happens when we break down the walls we’ve created and just be honest with each other. It also helps us realize that we aren’t alone in our struggles, that many people struggle like we do, and that no one is perfect no matter how hard they try to be. The only perfect person that ever walked the earth was Jesus and he is God’s son. So lets break down those walls, let them fall to the ground, and learn be totally open and honest with each other in the comments.
Have you ever tried so hard to do something but no matter how hard you try, or how many times you try, you still fail at it? Well, I’ve been there many, many times. When I was in high school I failed at math, I also failed at driving, and I still don’t have a license. I’m also not very good at sports, but I still like to play them for fun. That being said, we all have things that no matter how hard we might try to be good at, we just aren’t good at them. And sometimes that makes us feel that somehow we are failures. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I don’t know about you, but the times when I feel like the biggest failure are the times when I feel like I’ve let someone else down. Especially when I feel like I’ve let God down. whenever I make a wrong choice, or give into temptations that I know I shouldn’t give into, I feel like I’ve failed Him. You know what I mean? Have you ever felt like you’ve disappointed God? And wondered how he could ever love you to begin with because of how many times that you’ve messed up? We all have certain temptations we struggle with, but the beauty of being a child of God is that we aren’t accepted and loved based on what we’ve done or what we do, but we are accepted by what Jesus did for us.
When we accept God’s gift of unending mercy, grace, forgiveness, and love through His son Jesus’s death we are made new. And because of that all our past mistakes and failures are forgiven and forgotten. And that includes all of our future mistakes also, all we have to do is simply ask Him to forgive us when we mess up and He always will. That means not matter how many times we mess up and give into those temptations we struggle with, He will always be there waiting to forgive us, and welcome us back into His loving arms. Through Him, we are more than our failures, temptations, mistakes, and struggles. We are more and we are made new. So today I pray for whoever is reading this that you would realize you are more than your mistakes and failures and that the God of the universe loves you more than you could ever imagine. Which is something I am still trying to fully grasp myself.
It’s hard to believe knows everything about you. All your past mistakes and all your dirty secrets no one else knows about, He knows them all. He knows the real you, and yet He loves you more than anyone on this earth ever could! I don’t know about you but that totally blows my mind! So lets talk. What are some of the things you’ve failed at? What are your temptations you struggle with? And what helps you not give into those temptations?